Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Coming All The Way Out!

Today is International Pagan Coming Out Day. I never had any intention of ever coming out to anyone, who does not already know. My Husband knows, my Mom knows, most of my friends (Hey MPP Chicas!) know. That is how it is and how I like it.

When asked by someone if they should come out, I always ask them, “Why”? It’s no ones business but your own. I never felt the need to stand up and tell anyone I was Catholic, when I was, why should this be different.

I always felt that as long as your significant other knew and was at least comfortable enough with it not to freak out, things were good. Why tempt fate, and all the ugliness that may show itself now that you are seen as “different”. I help run a great little pagan group called Moon Path Pagans, so I was not exactly “in the closet”. I never really thought of it as hiding...

But I was hiding. Afraid. Wondering what would the guys at work say, would my friend “Joy” still talk to me, would this put a wall up between me and those I love.

Today I am “Coming Out”.  All the way out! Why?

On Monday, I was diagnosed with Sarcoidosis. If you do not know what that is, don’t feel bad, neither did I. If you have heard of it, you may know, it is the disease that killed comedian Bernie Mack and NFL player Reggie White. The American Lung Association describes sarcoidosis as a disease characterized by the presence of areas of inflamed cells that can attack any organ of the body but is most frequently found in the lungs. I have it in just my lungs...for now.

To say that Monday was an eye opener of a day, is an understatement. I was happy to finally have an answer to why, I had not felt like myself since the beginning of the year. I was short of breath, and had chest pain behind my breast bone. I always tired, with a continuous cough. Sounds like a run of the mill pneumonia. Most pneumonia gets better with antibiotics and some time. Mine didn’t. A few tests later and now my life is different.

I may go into remission and be fine, or I may get worse. What does this have to do with coming out as a pagan? All I know, is the control, I once had over my life is no longer mine and I have things to do! There is no time to fear. I am Pagan. And I don’t have the time to argue about it. :-)

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